What Rick Astley can teach us about giving up

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Rick Astley is famous for two things. His 1987 hit, “Never Gonna Give You Up”. And giving up.

At 27, Astley quit his lucrative pop career to look after his daughter, exchanging tour buses for the school run. He was brought back into the spotlight 20 years later by Rickrolling — a meme that tricked the user into clicking on a video of his famous song, which has amassed more than 1bn views. It shot the 1980s singer back to stadiums and festivals, notably last year’s Glastonbury, introducing him to a new generation. It appeared he had pulled off a masterstroke.

I’ve always considered Astley’s walk away from fame and success heroic. It seemed to contrast with many successful people in fields beyond music — business, finance or politics — who chase more money, another deal, a bigger role. How is it possible to make peace with a smaller life without nurturing resentment or desperation to recapture the early glories of a successful career? Could Astley teach us something about professional achievement and managing ego? 

Walking out

It turns out that in crediting him with sacrificing fame for family, I’d fallen for a myth. In his new autobiography, Never, Astley sets the record straight. “It’s a lovely idea, and because I’ve never talked much about what really happened, people think that’s what happened. But it wasn’t like that — at least, not at first. On the surface, I was hugely relieved to be shot of the whole thing. I felt as if I’d been let off the hook: thank fuck for that, I can just get on with being a dad for a while. Underneath that, though, I was miserable about the whole situation.”

Speaking this week, he tells me he had to walk away as he had reached a point when continuing would have made him miserable and ill. Records were not selling, and promotion felt pointless and exhausting. Flying had become a phobia (“It felt like life or death”).

He knew his career had a shelf life. “I was in the frothy end of pop music. Most people don’t get 25 years. It was the universe saying knock it on the head now.” He asked to leave his record label and they agreed.

Money makes all the difference

Of course, a significant amount of cash helped the transition. How much is enough to retire in your twenties? I’ve met many people whose goalposts shift as their lifestyle becomes more expensive. “I can’t convey to you the luxury of having enough money to redo the kitchen,” Astley tells me. The way he looks at his wealth is: “I’m not the richest guy in the neighbourhood but I live in a very nice neighbourhood.”

Money had always been about freedom, rather than extravagance. His autobiography describes him wanting to escape his volatile father whom he lived with in a portable cabin in a garden centre: “I wanted to be successful, to earn money . . . to answer my dad back: it would give me the ability to say ‘no’ when he told me what to do.”

Recognise the role of luck

Astley recognises that luck makes all the difference. “I’ve been unbelievably lucky,” he tells me. “You have to be prepared for that luck, you have to work with it. Without the luck no one gets anywhere. I’m very conscious of that.”

Appreciating the luck factor helps curb the potential for rampant egotism. “Don’t run away thinking how amazing you are. If I’d gone through a different door,” the outcome might have been very different.

Don’t fall for plaudits

Astley says fame and success have also taught him not to take compliments or criticism “so seriously”. “We live in a world where everyone can voice their opinion for the rest of the world, which is kind of an amazing thing. It teaches it, you, [to take it] with a pinch of salt.”

Rickrolling could have backfired — after all, it was a joke. In the book, he writes it “was the kind of thing that could turn really negative — people could get sick of it, particularly if you seemed to be milking it for all it was worth. It was best to just let it run its own course.”

Astley’s bemused wait-and-see reaction is refreshing in a world of media management. “Some artists would be devastated to become a meme,” he tells me.

Get perspective

Today, he is happy with his career arc. With his huge success in later life, releasing new material and doing nostalgia tours, how could he not be? Experience has given him perspective, which is that fame and success create “nonsense that messes with your ego, belief system”. But still, he probably wouldn’t advise someone to “quit completely”. “I would say take a year off.”