Six weirdest moments in UK politics in 2024

Good morning. When I was asked to step in for Stephen on the day before Christmas Eve I had some initial thoughts.

High on my gift list for loyal readers were brain dumps on 1) planning reforms or maybe 2) local government reorganisation, or perhaps 3) how a lack of vote efficiency could hamper Reform UK in key marginals. 

And then I saw sense. I remembered the chats I’ve had with MPs, party staffers, political journalists — and normal people — in the past week who said “I’m exhausted”, “I can barely stand up”, “I’m actually dead” and “what’s left of my brain has melted like a fondue”.

(I may have made up the last one.)

And it dawned on me that those crunchy topics can wait until the more energised days of early January. 

Instead here is my list of some of the weirdest moments in UK politics in 2024, let me know if I’ve forgotten any at the usual address.

Rishi Sunak in the rain

It’s possible to look cool in the pouring rain. Gene Kelly, for example. Rutger Hauer releasing his white dove at the end of Blade Runner. 

Even politicians can look good in a downpour, for example Barack Obama on the stump in Virginia back in the day. 

But the rain that fell on Rishi Sunak on May 22 only bathed the outgoing prime minister in bathos. As he called the general election, Sunak looked and sounded more than ever like Will from The Inbetweeners.

It was the slow-motion way the rain began with just a few drops, gently spattering his lapels, before — by the end of the speech — his entire suit jacket had become drenched. 

Soon afterwards the Tory leader gave a speech at the Titanic shipyard, offering not one but two metaphors for the worst election campaign in living memory. 

Sky News studio responds to the general election poll

It was pretty clear in the run-up to July 4 that Labour was heading back to power after 14 years wandering the political wilderness. But the extent of the party’s victory was only clear when the exit poll came through at 10pm that night. 

The poll showed Keir Starmer’s party sledgehammering their way into Downing Street with a majority of 170 or so. (The figure turned out to be 163). 

And viewers watching Sky News were treated to a bar chart showing what this meant for the different parties, while — somewhere in the background — they could hear a chorus of peculiar, almost libidinous moans. 

It transpired that host Kay Burley and Manchester’s Labour mayor Andy Burnham were merely expressing surprise at the extent of the landslide victory. As The Sun subsequently reported: “Viewers were left stunned and confused in equal measure”.

Banger of a clanger

Some political hiccups are impossible to prepare for. Back in October, when Keir Starmer was writing his 54-minute marathon speech to the nation at the Labour conference in Liverpool, he could not have predicted his epic slip of the tongue. 

Addressing foreign affairs, his voice even more serious than usual, the new prime minister called for restraint and de-escalation between Lebanon and Israel. “I call again for all parties to pull back from the brink. I call again for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, the return of the sausages . . . the hostages.”

Asked subsequently why he had used the word sausages (as if this was ever a mystery) the premier replied: “I just mangled the beginning of the word. Have you never done that?”

Kemi Badenoch’s original comments

It’s been a few days, but Westminster is still trying to digest the new Conservative leader’s comments about sandwiches. 

In an interview this month with the Spectator magazine, the leader of the opposition declared that “lunch is for wimps” while also — bafflingly — saying sometimes she eats steak at lunchtime. “I will not touch bread if it is moist,” Badenoch said. She also declared that sandwiches are not real food, adding: “It’s what you have for breakfast.”

It was a change of tack from Sunak, who had sought to sound normal earlier in the year by claiming sandwiches as his favourite food. 

Nor did Badenoch understand the perplexity when she said that a holiday job had altered her social status: “I grew up in a middle class family, but I became working class when I was 16 working at McDonald’s.”

Broadcaster stands for a constituency he “never liked”

It feels a bit mean dunking on Iain Dale, who is one of the nicer people operating in Westminster, but his bid to become the Tory MP for Tunbridge Wells didn’t go smoothly. 

The LBC broadcaster quit his radio show to stand in the constituency previously occupied by Greg Clark, who was just appointed to Labour’s industrial strategy council. But alas a clip emerged from a podcast in which he said he “never liked” Tunbridge Wells, adding “I’d quite happily live somewhere else.”

It was an original stance to take — after living there for 27 years — which did not find favour with local residents. 

Dale pulled out, saying the quotes were taken out of context (he had been complaining about ongoing roadworks) but said he “wasn’t willing to suffer death by a thousand cuts”.  

My personal opinion is that he would be a fine MP and should come back next time, wherever. 

Labour overdoes the Scrooge

If there’s one thing we’ve learned in recent months it’s that Labour really doesn’t like to look spendthrift. Even when they’re siphoning £23bn over more funding for the National Health Service, ministers would still rather give interviews about how they’re slashing state spending by banning Rich Tea biscuits for nurses or whatever. 

So maybe it was unsurprising that exhausted staffers and MPs who stayed up on election night for Labour’s victory party at the Tate Modern found that the free drinks extended to . . . one glass only. 

That’s right. On the night of their first election win in 14 years, their dreams had finally come true, Labour management could only bring themselves to cough up for one drink per person. 

Now try this

I’ll be up on the North York Moors later this week visiting family and hoping to jam with my father on his guitars in front of a blazing log fire. It’s a shared pleasure that we only stumbled on in recent years. Songs that we have lined up include: “King of the Road”, “Georgia On My Mind”, “Sporting Life Blues” and “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down And Out”.

Top stories today

• No rush | Kemi Badenoch told the BBC she would not “rush out” policies, despite the party facing criticism for not putting out clear positions. The Tory leader said a donation from Elon Musk might be “counterproductive” because “people don’t necessarily like to see politics being bought”.

• ‘The movement has started’ | Nick Candy, the new treasurer of Nigel Farage’s Reform party, has promised Britain “political disruption like we have never seen before” as he claimed to have several other billionaire backers in addition to Musk.

• Zero growth | The UK economy failed to grow in the third quarter, according to official figures, in a fresh blow to Labour. Rachel Reeves admitted that the government faced a “huge” challenge, but insisted that the Budget had laid the foundations for long-term growth.

• Move on up | Starmer should agree to a “comprehensive” pact enabling young people to study and work in the UK and EU as part of next year’s “reset” talks aimed at easing trade barriers, a British business lobby group said.

• Growing numbers of families in Send battle with councils | More than £100mn was spent last year by local authorities and the government on failed efforts to block support for children and young people with special educational needs in England, according to analysis by the Guardian.